the power to sit

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The power to eat soap.

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The power to see when people fart.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The power to do everything that you can do.

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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The power to know who farted at any time.

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

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The power to love Justin Bieber

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The ability of holding your breath for the rest of your life.

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The power to climb trees really fast but only downwards.

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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the power two peel m&ms -jesse

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The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

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The power to grow a mustache with your pubic hair

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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Being able to have diarrhea when every you want.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!