The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the power to catch em' all

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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the power to have a pointless superpower

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the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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The power to read someones mind.... After they have spoken what's on their mind.

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The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

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the power to eat people :D

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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The power of total invulnerability and immortality, stops working when you get hurt, or die.

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Super speed, but with super clumsiness

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The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

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The ability of holding your breath for the rest of your life.

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The power to make only slightly funny jokes

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The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

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the power of fart helium

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The ability to be completely bullet-proof as long as a bullet never hits you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!