The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

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the ability to grow a boner to an incredible size but only when you are asked to come up to the front of the class

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The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to undress yourself at a slower rate then others

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The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

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the ability to run as fast as you want but never be able to slow down...

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The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

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The ability to see through insects.

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the power to itch your teeth

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The power to smell like body odor at will

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to shoot liqiud gold ever 3-6 years only when you come across jesus.

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The power of learning

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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the power of super intelligence to go to college and actually expect a job these days.

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The power to turn back time and get the word "emit".

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The power to not get shit dick

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The power to become allmighty and imortal, all you need to do is to touch either Kryptonite, or adamantium.

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The power to make yourself forget your life

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

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the power to produce millions of dollars but be stranded on a deserted island!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!