The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power throw up hockey pucks every few minutes.

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to sing Friday by Rebecca Black perfectly when it's thursday.

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The power to realize that the alphabet does not need to be in any particular order

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The ability to run faster than the speed of sound, but only when laying down.

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The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to grow plants, only using your mind

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The power to have sex with any woman you want, but you are gay

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The power to turn everything you touch into shit.

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The power to turn yourself into Donald Trump.

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the power to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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the power to move up floors or levels,but only in an elevator

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the power to eat 10 cotton balls every year

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the power of fart helium

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!