The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to self destruct yourself 1 time and 1 time only

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Supreme pre-mature ejaculation.

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The power to see through clothes of only ugly people

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The power to turn 85 in 85 years.

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The power to implode when you have pee and you can't stop

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Moral: THUMBS UPS SOLDIER!

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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The power to understand irony.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power to be Omnipotent and create a rock too heavy for yourself to lift.

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ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to have tastebuds inside your ass.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

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the power to make a fart that kills people when no one is around you

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The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

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The power of attracting fired bullets

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the power to predict what you are going to post on facebook

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Power that makes you perfect in being useless

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The power to burn the sun.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!