The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The power to breath at will.

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to turn everything you touch in to a plastic fork.

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The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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to eat a pie and get to fart an apple (cus why not)

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The ability to type incredibly fast when your keyboard is broken.

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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I HAVE A TINY PINGAS! (Penis) Moral: Ladyfriend here daring me to post this here, PFF! Is that even a dare? I got balls of steel! Oh, and I should totally ask my doctor if she can give me something that helps me unwind after multiple female company, or at least they are daring me all to type that pff! Im not even good looking... And noooooo, nobody dared me to type that, they want todeeeeeeeeeellllllllteeeeeeeeee tht BUTI SHALLOOOWWWWWWINSSSSSSSS

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to read everything 2 seconds faster than usual

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The ability to look at someone and die.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!