- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the ability to look into your brain

the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power to fly but you can't go ten feet above ground.

The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

the power to complete math exercises

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

The ability to get out of bed in a Monday morning even though you don't want to

The power to create powers

The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

the power to cry from drama movies but only when theres no girls around you.

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pornstar after dying.

being black

The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

The power to know you don't have a superpower

The power to disintegrate yourself

The power to be stupid

The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

the power to eat bread

Acid tears.

Pointless Super Powers