The power to drown on land.

The power to be Chuck Norris

The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

The power to blow bubble with Tootsie Rolls.

The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

The power to think of words that rhyme with orange.

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

The power to heal yourself but only damage you inflict on yourself.

The ability to get shot, for real.

The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

The power to lose this power.

The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

The power to be able to see words backwards, but not any faster than the average mentally handicapped person can read backwards.

The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

The ability to look at someone and die.

The power to fuck your mum whenever you want

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!