The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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the ability to look into your brain

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to fly but you can't go ten feet above ground.

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To pee standing up.

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The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

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The power to see other peoples dreams.

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The power to use successfuly Splash Attack irl.

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The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

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the power to inflate your testicles to such size, that it hurts.

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The power to create powers

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the power to cry from drama movies but only when theres no girls around you.

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The power to become the worlds most famous necrophilia pornstar after dying.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to be stupid

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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Acid tears.

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The power to be able to see words backwards, but not any faster than the average mentally handicapped person can read backwards.

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The power to display emotions at will

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to fly during 0,2 seconds.

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!