- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

The power to have the world's biggest cumshots, but to have a numb penis.

understanding every language only if you get insulted

power to poop out 5x5 ice cube

Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

The ability to not have a super power.

(Only a girl power) the power to bleed every month for one day

The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

The power to (place useless super power here)

The power to be the best video game player ever but you have squeakers follow you everywhere calling you a hacker and saying there going to report you

The power to sound like a 12 year old while playing call of duty

The power to summon cops to arrest you

The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

The power to walk through walls, but get stuck half way!

The power to drown on land.

the power to to deep fry anything deep fried

the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

The power to get hard at will.

The power to enter a car, but only if the car is out of gas.

The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

the power to say the power to say the power to say the power to say.....

Pointless Super Powers