you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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th eability to have sex with anyone in the world but have to have sex with rosie o'donnell first

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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To be able to levitate one object in front of you for one second a day

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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The power to complete a 100m race in exactly 100 seconds.

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The power to walk through air.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to levitate 3cm off the ground when no one is watching

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power to used any power i want when you're asleep

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The power to die.

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the power to know when someone queefed

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The power to grab a cats face

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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The power of seeing and talking to God (in case there's one) but cannot really prove His existence to any other person. (Sounds really like any religious person there is).

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The power to turn on your tv with your mind as long as the remote is in your hand and has batteries.

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The power to count to infinity.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!