the power to turn into celebs that evryonr loves to write about only infront of 1 million people

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

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The power to fly but only when touching the ground

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to make a small chair appear -- one time.

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The ability to walk five hundred miles but than you have to walk five hundred more.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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the power to fly, but only 1 inch over the ground

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The power to understand irony.

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The power to discern the breed of a cat by the taste of its poop.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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The power to see everything that will happen in your future life when you die.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to troll.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to die at will.

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The power to freeze time, but not unfreeze it.

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!