The ability to ingest Dihydrogen-monoxide and survive.

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The power to teleport but you must have walked to that place within the last attosecond

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the power to eat with your butt

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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the power to make realy convincing whale noises

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done something sexual with some type of food?

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The ability to read children's books twice as fast as any given child.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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the power to turn on a random guys tv

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to make your bowel work backwards

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The power to pick your nose but you happen to be Lord Voldermot

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to become erect at the sight of a man's butthole, oh wait thats just liam flanagan

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The power to troll.

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The power to lick your balls.

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The ability to teleport to distant locations with no way of returning.

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The power to have superpowers from the beginning

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The power to not care.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!