The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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32% Levitation.

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The power to see other peoples dreams.

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The power of walk on the water if it is frozen.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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The power to jump over a sheep when you turn 10 years old

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The superpower to know everything about the earth today after 2.5trillion years have passed

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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The power to change TV channels once a day but only on cooking programs between 9:00AM and 9:30AM

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!