the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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Backpack with everything.. ..except the things needed in any given situation.

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The power to walk on frozen water.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to change Celsius to Farenheit.

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The power to jump faster.

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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The power to lock a public toilet door and climb over the walls with ease.

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The power to cook pop tarts really fast

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The power to read upside down...only when you're upside down.

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to make asians smart

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to change your emotions at will.

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The ability to hid your cats right ear for strenuous amounts of time

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The power to see through air

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the power of superspeed but only backwards

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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The power to make the key on your keyboard not work

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The ability to breathe underwater but only when above water

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The ability to explode. With no healing factor.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!