The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

thumb_up thumb_down +45

to be one second faster than 5mph in any 80's arcade game using one finger to push the buttons

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The power to get an erection watching gay porn

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The powwer of super-serial watching on netflix

thumb_up thumb_down +39

the power to turn into a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The power to grow new teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to have a pointless power.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to walk on lava but you are not resistant to it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the power to absorb gamma radiation, but no resistance to radiation poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Being able to have diarrhea when every you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

The power to explode on demand.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to take a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to stand still for five hours

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to.... OMG a fish :D wait... what was i talking about?

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!