The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power of getting 5 cent shoes every year. Follow @lucb65 (Instagram)

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The ability to make any girl hook up with you, while your penis is numb

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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sdrawkcab gnipyt ta dab eb tub sdrawkcab daer ot rewop eht

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The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!