The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

The power to grow nipples all over your body at will

The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

The power to live,but only when you are dead

The power to always be at half mast.

The power to fart get a 10 inch but only at your moms house

To be small u could be step on because no one can hearu

The power to run at the speed of invisibility.

The power to stop existing.

The power to set money on fire

The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

The power to run at the speed of ligth but only when running complete circles

the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

the power to look like a boy and sing like a girl (bieber joke)

Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

The aability to double the current amount of money you have, only if the bank gets half the money you have.

The power to be a woman

The power to do reverse moonwalk

The power to sit on a couch whenever your mother tells you that you can.

the power to talk to animals.......without them understanding you.

The power to smell bacon and/or ham at 3 o clock in the afternoon on the second Saturday of March

to be shitty

The power to become Santa Clause, but only on the fourth of July.

The power to make clean socks dirty.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!