The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

the power to eat air when you could do something creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to find Waldo after the looking at the same page for over 6 hours straight

thumb_up thumb_down +54

The power to turn your navel upside down

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to make poorly drawn art in less time than it takes to blink.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

The power to give yourself Kidney stones.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The power to collect a interesting variety of ceramic animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The ability to levitate birds

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The ability to have all of the money in the world, but then have to share it with everybody in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to kill yourself if there is a bullet in your heart, brain, and liver all at the same time

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The power to find the droid you're looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The power to know when an item of food has been cooked to perfection, 38 seconds after it has caught fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The power to see who is writing these powers

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

to make asians smart

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to grow new teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

the power of wanting to download paid games for free and always failing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to get your blackberry to turn on slightly faster

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The power to burst into flames (Like the Human Torch), but immediately burn to death after doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The power to understand the farmer in Hot Fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

To have the ability to trip over your own "meat curtains" at will and make it look graceful... somehow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!