The power to communicate with applesauce.

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The ability to never get your comments featured on jacksfilms YIAY series

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to turn yourslef into a suicide bomber just as he blows himself up

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The power to blame it on the Boogie

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Beeing 99% Bullet proof, with the 1% shifting places to whereever a bullet is about to hit you.

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to die when you are happy

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The ability to live forever but age quicker.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The ability to turn anything into a belt.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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the superpower to turn into a chicken in a processing plant

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to eat soap.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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the ability to type slower.

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ability to swim like a frog with no legs

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!