The aability to double the current amount of money you have, only if the bank gets half the money you have.

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to die when you are happy

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The ability to live forever but age quicker.

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The power to get rid of all advertisements, but only when your eyes are closed.

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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the power to finish your plate of veggies when ever you like.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to make your boss s**t his pants during staff meetings

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The power to throw Go stones to the board so that thei form the word 'Go'

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to eat soap.

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THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The power to love Justin Bieber

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!