The ability to heal someone by trying to beat them to a pulp.

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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the power to instantly die

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Acid pee

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The power to turn into an escalator

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The power to play games in your head but have seizures doing so.

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The power to create powers

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to teleport yourself into a cell of a maximum security prison made from proto-adamantium, Damascus steel & Supermanium.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The ability to levitate birds

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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The power to read the minds of rocks

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!