The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to teleport yourself into a cell of a maximum security prison made from proto-adamantium, Damascus steel & Supermanium.

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

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The power of getting 5 cent shoes every year. Follow @lucb65 (Instagram)

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The ability to know if you're the only human alive.

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The power to fly only one inch off the ground

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The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

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The power to smash people's heads in with things.

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The power to travel in time for 2 seconds

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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The ability to have any destructive power... As long as you use it on babies or old people.

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the ability to turn things purple by touching it.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!