The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

The power to see through glass

thumb_up thumb_down +150

???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

thumb_up thumb_down +150

The power to yawn with your mouth closed

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power drown in water

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Ability to emit soap from your ears in the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to survive at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +102

The power to turn water into wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

32% Levitation.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The ability to evolve into magickarp

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to pee poop

thumb_up thumb_down +92

the ability to an app cost 1 cent less (no free apps don't count

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!