The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

The power to transform your appearance so that you look unmistakably like yourself.

The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

The power to attract bullets.

The ability to explode. With no healing factor.

The power to make water come out of your fingertips in a slow trickle, the way it looks in the shower.

The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

The ability to part hair.

The power to ejaculate laser beams.

the power to create bad superpowers

The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

The power to turn into a potato banana hybrid.

The power to control dodos

The power to see through things that are invisible.

The ability to teach someone how to blink.

The power to teleport anywhere at the cost of your life.

The ability to ruin ipods by simply listening to a song

The power to own Greek, Italian and Irish stocks.

The power to shit on the ceiling

The ability to sh*t actual bricks.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!