The power to read an animal's mind, but only when they're in a vegetative state.

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The Power to sit down only on chair made of knives.

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The Power to touch MC Hammer

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the power to go "heh heheh heh perverted"

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The ability to be telepathic but only while sleeping. So you just think it's a dream.

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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To Shoot Piss Out Of Your Mouth Only If You Are Taking A Dump

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The power to make your nose blink.

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THE POWER TO XLEAN UP STUFF WITH YOUR SUPER STRONG PUNCH

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to turn acute triangles into equilateral triangles.

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to teleport randomly anywhere on the planet, once every hour

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The power to be an exceedingly homosexual man and be constantly surrounded by sexy women.

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The power to see through glass

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!