Where to start? Ah yes...THE POWER TO NOT FREAKING DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

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understanding every language only if you get insulted

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to turn water into wine.

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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The astounding ability to lay eggs instead of give birth.

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The power to teleport, but in doing so you lose a limb.

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The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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Qu1. Why is Steven Hawking so smart A. Because he's half robot. Qu.2. Why is Albert Einstein so smart A. He got forced to try things.

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The power of perfect 20/20 hindsight

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

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The power to explode the entire world every time you became happy.

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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the power to like charlie

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the power to imagine any women naked...but only as an octogenerian

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to reseal bottles!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!