The power to get your comment 1st

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The power to turn left while actually being right about right being left so you end up heading upways down the street and confuse the shit out of people. Moral: But will it blend?

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The ability to spit in random obscure crayola colors.

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

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The power to drive any Lamborghini or other shit expensive car you want. You still need to get a car like that though...

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Being only half invisible.

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the power to buy something worth 1.95$ when you only have 1.94$

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The power to mind reeds

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The Power To Have Only (This) One Power.

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The power to shoot a any amount of milk out of your belly button every July 4th at 2 o'clock

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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the ability to make your penis more sophistcated than yourself

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The power to transport yourself back in time to when the universe began!

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The power to type so damn many superpowers that your head is spinning, and wanting to keep doing it because you really like this thing, its so... fulfilling... Moral: What can I say, people fight so much over who is right, and go to war just to prove their points... I LOVE POINTLESSITTY! (Pointlessitty, is not a typo, its a shakespearean slip you ignoramoron) Fun fact: A shakesperean is by itself a grammatically incorrect word, but not a typo simply because I used it on purpose... wow thats crazy... agree? Then thumb me DOWN NOW!

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The power drown in water

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The power to only drink when your parents are watching.

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The power to immediately become comatose every time you blink.

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The Power to penetrate Ellen Degeneres's Vagina.

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The power to stand still for five hours

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!