To be able to summon old people

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to stick your head up your ass

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The power to build Lego with incredible speed, but then knock it down immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The power to be extremely well-endowed while having sex, but only when masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to look extremely bored and emotionless when typing "lol" or "xD"

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Delayed Reaction Man

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power drown in water

thumb_up thumb_down +109

the power to relive the least important moments in history

thumb_up thumb_down +107

the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

thumb_up thumb_down +105

the power to complete math exercises

thumb_up thumb_down +105

The power to divide by zero

thumb_up thumb_down +105

the power to make thin air that is harmless

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The ability not to be able to make a bong out of a taco bell cup

thumb_up thumb_down +103

EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to get hurt without a break.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The superpower to know everything about the earth today after 2.5trillion years have passed

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to summon Wolverine, but only so he can give you a colonoscopy.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to go back in time one second at a time, but the ability takes one second to recharge.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!