The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ??!l!q? ???

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The power to see through glass

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The power to make your breath smell like vanilla at will.

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The power to yawn with your mouth closed

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The power to be invisable when your dead

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The power to revert to a six year old and teleport to the closest pedophile guild

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The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

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The power to worsen your own eyesight at will.

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to remember when pepperidge farm remembered

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Ability to emit soap from your ears in the sun

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The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to survive at absolute zero

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The power to turn water into wine.

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32% Levitation.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The power to pee poop

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the ability to an app cost 1 cent less (no free apps don't count

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to turn your navel upside down

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to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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The power to be able to see words backwards, but not any faster than the average mentally handicapped person can read backwards.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!