The power to eat razorblades, but only when covered in a mixture of antifreeze, bile and tabasco sauce.

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The power to give automatically give all your money to a Nigerian businessman for a special investment opportunity

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the power to play a flute to summon a black leprechaun but only when your on the verge of passing out

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the power to make a pillow come to life once

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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The power to touch your toes

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The power of self mind control

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the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power of funk, but only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3 AM.

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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The power to poop in the worst time ever and you cannot control it

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The power to know you don't have a superpower

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The power to read all these post's in less then a day

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The power to be able to insult that piece of shit Chuck Norris without bein... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *dead* And of course the ability to type you`re death scream and you`re status after you`re dead.

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The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

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Teh pewer off havin noo sentense speeled rite.

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The superpower to die in a 1 second.

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!