The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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The power to have a unique fart smell

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the power to jerk off

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The power to transform your foreskin to rusty iron.

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The power to eat soap.

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The power to poop but only in bushes.

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The power to drown on land.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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The power to attract bullets when a gun fires

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to communicate with your own toenail clippings.

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The power to have magnetic eyeballs.

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The power to die spontaneously, and have no one notice

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Nipple Radar.

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The ability to turn cement into pudding

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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the power to talk to your elbow

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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the power to destroy the planet you are standing on

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!