Wait this isn't pornhub!?

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum but nowhere else

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The ability to turn into Gary Coleman

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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Oye sun teri ma ka saki na ka

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Meatvision.

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You can fly, but only while on a plane that's in the air.

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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The power of not ever being able to pee indoors

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The power to shed hair

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The ability to eat whole chickens at will, but only when yr not hungry.

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u?op ?p?sdn ?d?? o? ???od ???

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make youself dumb

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The power to eat a core of a pineapple.

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The power to fly whenever you get a stroke. (The power goes away as soon as the stroke ends, so make sure to get all your flying deeds done while you still have a stroke)

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The power to pick something up and stay the same.

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The power to move you right eye into the position of your left and vise versa, but only when you are sleeping.

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a power to turn liquid into goo!

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to paralyze yourself from the waist-up.

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the power to make broccoli taste like asparagus

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!