the power to undress yourself at a slower rate then others

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The power to look at someone and imaginatively initiate intercourse in the most unreasonable way possible.

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

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The power to fly but only when your on the ground

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The Power to lost your Dankness every time you Breath.

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The power to achieve 98% opacity

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the power to have good enough grammar to phrase the fu**ing power you want to share without sounding like a retarded deaf 6 year old

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the power to lower my blood presure to dangerous levels

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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the power to not die only when someone shoots you in your left heel.

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The power to divide by zero

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the power to teleport anywhere and see anything but every time to teleport there's 75% chance you'll die

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The power to teleport to the middle of the Pacific Ocean

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The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

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The ability to be bulletproof after you get shot.

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Breath powers so strong your normal breath alone can break down walls whenever you get a cold.

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the power to be able to foresee your death within a millisecond of it happening

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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the power to self destruct without hurting people.

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the power of being yourself

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the power to allow dumbass powers to be written on this site

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!