The power to give your grandma amazing orgasms.

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???q? ?o?? sp??oq??? ?nq ????u o? ???l?q? ???

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The power to pick something up and stay the same but smell bad.

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The power to spell words incorrectly when speaking.

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The power to make birds levitate as you walk by them.

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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The Power To Have Lazer Eyes Everytime You Sleep.

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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to power to do the bird is the word

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The power to text while driving and dies of cancer.

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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The power to waste time talking about pointless superpowers when you could be doing something productive

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

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The power o know why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to get hurt without a break.

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The power to shovel well. To shovel very well.

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the power of breath 10 times per second of you will die

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the power of being yourself

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!