The power to expand the size of your head and gain weak telekinesis, but you die in 3 days, the bigger you make your head, the more powerful your telekinesis but the faster you die.

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The Power to think of a better superpower you could have chosen

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To tell how many kids in a sweatshop it took to make your nike's

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The ability to anticipate the release of half-life three. Sidenote: Goes hand in hand with the ability to bathe in your own tears.

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To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

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The power to spontaneously combust into trillions of microscopic kittens, every time you stare a cat photo for more then 3 hours.

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The power to make 3.74% of your body a pale green colour.

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The ability to hear people's thoughts after they've already said them.

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Giving a shit about someone's bull shit

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The power to become a destructive green beast that demolishes cities, which you have absolutely no control over whenever you get angry or scared.

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The power for chris not to eat spaghetti

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The power to fail every time you try to do something

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The power to fly but only on a foggy Christmas night

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the power to move forward in time one second peer second

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the power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to look at yourself in third person

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solar powered night-vision

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to remember everything then forgetting it 10 seconds later.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to buy "I cant believe its not butter" and turn the damn thing into real butter.

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The power to get up early for school, only on the weekends

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!