the power to fart every time you blink

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The power to understand a joke 30 seconds later after the last person in the group did it.

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The power to ejaculate lazer beams...

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The power to encounter an internal server error

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The power to demand people to thumb you down! (That would make this pointless power even more pointless, which deserves a thumbs up... but...) Moral: THUMB ME DOWN! NAO!

thumb_up thumb_down +74

The power to make a pint a gallon

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The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

The power to be hungry without eating a Snickers bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Being able to not go to the bathroom...when you have to!

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The power of bullet atraction

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The ppwer to say SHAZAM, Then someone says wat?

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that each time your nearest friend gets hurt you get hurt with it more with 10 times

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the power to SHUT UP ALREADY!

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The power to writ a pointless super power but only when you want to.

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The power to turn anyone into a magical butterfly that can't fly with its wing but the only thing it can do maniacal is make himself fly.

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The power to teleport yourself naked in front of your mom each time she is naked. (it cant be shut of)

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The ability to make your body colder in cold whether and hotter in hot whether

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the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to read all the other pointless superpowers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!