the power to turn into a rock and you cant turn back into a human

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The power to defrost windows with the turn of a knob.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the ability to self resurrect only if you are not dead

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The power to revive people. As long as the person is alive.

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The power to not get crushed, only if you're in contact with something.

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Telekinetic power over styrofoam

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Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

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The power to see into the present

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The power to read bladders. You would always know when someone has to pee.

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The power to shit whole balogna sandwiches.

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The ability to catch bullets traveling under 5 mph

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The power to eat your poop

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The power of 2 milliseconds of omnipotence followed by death.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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the power to cure someones cold by giving them AIDs

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The power to count to infinity.

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the power to summon 10 ants every week

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The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

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the ability to make trees grow when you orgasm.

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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The power to see through windows

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The power to see the future, but as a blind person who can't hear or smell.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!