The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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the power to never be able to draw a straight line with a ruler

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the power to smell shit from miles away

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The power to re-click a webpage over and over as long as it won't load

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The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

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The power to be toilet paper and never run out of paper but still keep your sense of taste

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The power to drink bleach in a gatorade bottle

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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the power to turn into nothing.

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The power to phase through walls, but only when you're in an airplane.

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the power to make as many dogs appear as you want but they don't listen to anyone and they have rabies

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to sleep on road trips but only if you're not in a car.

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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the power to die at will

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The power to throw-up purple cheese curds on command, but you are also allergic to purple cheese curds?

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The power to spell-check or at least reread what you're about to post.

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The power to type good morals under your comments. Moral: Ever seen me post an actual moral (even less a GOOD one?) Pssh! There is no such thing as good, not that I am aware of at least >:)

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the power to teleport to the bottom of the ocean at will

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the power to shit your pants uncontrollably when your mom calls your name

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The power to remember anyone's birthday unless you are at their birthday party.

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to have a super power,

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!