The power to strangle yourself to death

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation

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The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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The power of immortality while suicidal.

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to drink dihydrogen monoxide without dying.

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The power to not have any powers

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to rain fireballs down upon those you love.

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The power to jump 3% higher than the average human,

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The power to read the minds of chickens every other Tuesday.

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The power to transform into a baby only when around pedophiles.

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The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!

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The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

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The power to know all the answers to life after you are fatally wounded.

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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The power to be a woman

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The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

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The power to fly..........Delta Airlines.

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The power to see into the future and past but not remember any of it.

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the power to make the tip of a kangaroo's nose itch.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!