the power to hope you get a job at the mall because they laid everybody off and sent the jobs off somewhere cheap

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The power to produce 5 times the normal amount of ball sweat.

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The power to imagine a new colour

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The power to shit dirt!

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The ability to speak any language, but whoever you speak the language to doesn't speak or understand the language

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the power to youtube poop

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The ability to watch an episode of 60 minutes in 59 minutes

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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Find Waldo

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The ability to levetate three-four inches only when you are alone in an elevator.

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the ability to tell what some last ate smelling their farts

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The power to go Skiing and ice skating in mid summer

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The power to hear everything. But only def people have it.

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The power that when you think of someone's face your nostrils are filled with the smell of their feet

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The power to talk to animals and have them partially understand you.

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The power to hover 1 foot off of the ground.

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The ability to speak all languages ever recorded in history, but cannot speak without using at least 10 of them simultaneously.

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The power to fart upon command.

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See through invisible people

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The power to speak parseltongue except when you're around snakes.

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Wait this isn't pornhub!?

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the power to wake up right before the best part of a dream

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Having a bullet-proof skeleton.

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The power to accelerate your own aging when you're happy. Unfortunately it's irreversible.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!