The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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The power to accelerate your own aging when you're happy. Unfortunately it's irreversible.

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the power to get really mad.

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The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

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The power to give a **** about bigfoot

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The power to pick thing up with your feet

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The power to become inverted background color.

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The power to shoot dix out of ure mouth.

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the power to shit yourself when you sneeze.

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The power to be invincible everywhere but your face

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The power for shampoo to never go in your eyes, but only when its Johnsons No More Tears.

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The power of making your eyeballs bigger but without any significant improvement in your sight.

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The power to smell a fart from a 500 mile radius.

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The power to break your Nokia phone.

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The power to control grass, not make it grow, but make it move in any direction you want.

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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The power to kill someone instantly; but you can only kill one person: yourself.

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The power to die when touching any form of light

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The power to be dyslexic at will

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to control dodos

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!