the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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The power of laughing in awkward situations.

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The power of making toast land butter-side up

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The power to turn the tv off from 0.00000000001 inches away, with your mind, but it takes half an hour to actually turn off. This superpower runs out whenever you come within a mile of a tv.

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The power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to have the power to say that you have got the power to have the power of power stuff.

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The superpower to poo at will.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to teleport yourself to the nearest exit location.

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The power to when you get scared, you fart.

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The power to create ice out of thin air but only at -35 degree celcius and below.

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The power to become as big and powerful as Gary Coleman.

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The power to always find lost objects... right after buying a replacement.

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The power to see what happened in yesterdays future... Moral: meh.

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to be bullet proof (only works on bullets are thrown at you and not fired from a gun)

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The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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The power to hold your breath forever, but only in a hot-tub.

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the power to shit bricks

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The power to poop and pee at the same time

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The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!