you can get lots of pussy, but their all severed

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The power to shit brix, No wait.

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the power to exit this site because of the maple story ad.

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The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

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To be flaming gay. Both kinds.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to drink lethal poison without getting ill. But still dying from it.

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to talk in a mexican accent whenever you want to say "Whats up Essay"

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the power to be extremely guilty in the bum.

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The power to see out of the back of your head but never the front

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The power to smell thoughts.

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The power to not wake up until you get 9 hours of sleep

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The power to hate/love/care about me because of who I am. Moral: Relax dear friends (you other fools relax too) I was born this way, and I love every second of it, I am on fire and this workout gives me so damn much pheromones and testosterone that I am gonna invite a cute friend and have a damn threesome! Why, because its a mans world... never forget that kids...

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The ability to be smarter than the average bear.

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The ability to get out of bed in a Monday morning even though you don't want to

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the power to be able to blow air

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The power to plank

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The power to skip the Kripp.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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The power to cry whole bananas grown in Brazil.

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the power to walk halfway through a wall

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The power to write a moral under each comment. ( Just a thought: when did most of these become superpowers? I mean is women`s period become superpower? And becoming Justin Beiber? A superpower? I need to change my definition...)

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The power to do a wheelie on a unicycle.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!