The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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the power to make men funnier smarter and more athletic then womer.

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the ability to smile a tooth grin while pooping on your own chest

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The ability to never see CGI in any movie ever again

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The power to swallow thousand liters of sperm without any ill effects.

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The ability to suddenly realize you have Cancer.

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the power to make ur fingernails fall and the go into a coma when someone says hello.

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The power to eat anything that is from a plant

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to not lie wall you activate"I Agree To TheTerms Of Sevice"

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Power to see through walls, but it only works with glass.

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The power to travel 60 miles an hour while inside of a vehicle.

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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the power to summon fire with a lighter

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The power to move things by 1cm with your mind.l

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mime-o-moid. The power to pretend to be stuck in a box, walk a dog and climb a rope.

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The power to pee, REALLY LOUD.

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Having Wolverine’s ability to healing from any damage, but still healing at a normal human rate of recovery.

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The power of micro penis.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to travel in time but only to the moment of your death.

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To be able to make a pencil dull... Get it it point less!!!!!

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to have time when you're doing nothing.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!