The power to nail anyone you want (legally) but no one remembers, including you

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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The power to vote for Donald trump as president

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the power to speak chinese to indians and indians only

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the power to die at will

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The ability to visually contract STD's

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The power to fly, but only when you're on a plane

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The power to continuously and periodically turn oxygen into carbon dioxide using magic organs in your chest by sucking the the atmosphere through your mouth.

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The power to grow one wing

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The power to determine after 1 year that something is broken when you yourself have done it deliberately broken

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The power to mind reeds

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the ability to grow your nails at will.

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The power to push a door that only pulls.

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the power to be infinitely constipated

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The power to piss only when sleeping.

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the power to resist texting and driving 76% of the time when you only own a landline.

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The ability to turn everything to gold; as long as the original material is gold.

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The power to look really cool when sitting in a chair when nobody's looking at you

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The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

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The power to make it so legions of turtles submerge from the world seas in order to fight for the death in your name to save your ass whenever you are in trouble. Moral: Uh thanks for coming turtles... yeah I remember when I needed you 20 years ago... But thanks really...

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The power to see out of the back of your head but never the front

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The power to transform into Osama whenever someone sees you.

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The power to not move but your always happy.

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The ability to pronounce the word "rural."

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!