The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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the power to spontaneously shoot glitter out of your ass

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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The power to levitate mustard.

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The power to excel at something that nobody cares about.

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The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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to be shitty

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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The power to be white and have a the pingas a size of a black man. Moral: You cannot comprehend the power of the dark side.

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The power to be fluent in every language but only when your head is fully submerged underwater.

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[insert pointless super powers here]

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the power to wiggle your own arms in a weird fashion

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The power to kill a manin just 30 years a spoon

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The power to not move or do anything.... at all

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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the power to be on time daily, but only after ur late

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The power to think of any superpower but not have it

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The power to conjure chairs at will.

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the power to change the size of your thumb when ever you want

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The power to give epic blowjobs, works only if you are a incarcerated, straight male.

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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the power to fall off of a cliff and live... in hell

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the ability to make a banana talk uncontrollably to itself but only when people around it are high. the ability to make a banana momentarily stop talking. the ability to allow a banana to sing uncontrollably songs strictly about being a banana, previously sung by a mammal. the ability to write funny things but only about banana(s).

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The power to only use yahoo.com

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!