The ability to understand women!!

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the ability to fail lie detector tests.... consistently.

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The power to shrink tits by touching them.

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The ability to cry shampoo at will. But it still stings.

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the power to travel through time... at the speed of normal time.

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The power to greatly enlarge your penis only if you are presenting.

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The power to get pulled over for going 1mph over the speed limit.

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The power to teleport up to 35 feet once a year

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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The ability to feel all pain 30 seconds after it happens.

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The ability to make red lights turn green by simply staring and waiting

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The ability to type without having to use the shift key.

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The power to turn your bones into molten lead.

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The power to cheat death, but only when your alive...

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The power to make one's skin very bumpy.

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The power to not Waste time

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The ability to read minds by absorbing their mental disorders

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The power to be a superhero when you rage that has the power of controlling yourself.

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The power to have a second brain, but it has the IQ of a rock.

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The power to smell like poop once every hour.

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The power to just eat one lays potato chip

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The power to have super strength, however when you use it you instantly become paralyzed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!