To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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The power to think up really funny pointless superpowers.

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The power to wet yourself at will.

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The Power to lose a fight before it begins

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the power to live a happy and fullfilling life...

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The power to communicate with earthworms.

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The power to Master Bait, endlessly without getting satisfaction. Moral: A little less conversation, a little more action please...

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the power to nap instantly, but only when you're tired.

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The power to see thru windows and turn door knobs.

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The power to transform into Osama whenever someone sees you.

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The power to find a paper clip when you need one.

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The power to eat toxic waste as long as it is not toxic but die from non-toxic waste and stuff

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The power to open a walnut with your mind

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The ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

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The power to turn into a sloth at random times.

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to heal someone's injuries by killing them.

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The power to have a magnetically attractive force, but only to bullets

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The power to fly 2 feet in the air.

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The superpower of having no superpower.

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The power to use you`re veins as a lasso.

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Lactokinesis

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The power to understand the purpose of life, and every other world mystery, exactly .5 of a second before you die.

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The power to f*ck yourself

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!