The power to stop people from committing suicide just before they do, but only by killing them...

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The power to grow one inch, but you need to shrink one inch to do so.

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the power to throw dead dogs at your enemies

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The ability to have a xredit card with no limit but not know the pin

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The power of X-ray Viion, that gives you Eye Cancer from the radiation

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The power to have wood when you wake up.

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The ability to lactate air.

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the power to lift anything under the weight of 2 lbs

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To be able to turn into any molusk when in a lava pit

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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The power to have your piss turn to solid gold before it exits you.

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The power to turn a dollar into three quarters.

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The power to know exactly when you are going to die, instantly! (died instantly)

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The ability to jizz uncontrollably in your pants randomly during the day

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The power to, receive THE POWER! What is this power you may ask... it is the power of TRUE POWER!

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the ability to time travel 5 minutes into the past this power recharges every 5 minutes

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captain obvious

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The power to change the shape of any object at will

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The power of x-ray vision only when you are naked in public. More people the stronger it is.

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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The power to correct spelling mistakes on road signs

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The power to speed up wallmart lines; only if your're not in it.

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The power to blink 1.0000000000001 times faster than the average human.

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The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!